I'm so Bored that I injured myself ... a lot

Today, I tripped over my own foot when I was walking out of my Grandmother's house.

I fell facedown onto the pavement, breaking the fall with my left arm, and scraping up my left elbow and all the knuckles on my left hand in the process. I also managed to bruise my left hip bone so badly that there is now a welt on my left thigh.

But my mom bandaged my arm, so it's not bleeding anymore, at least!

This would be a crazy story about my awful day ... if I were anyone other than myself.

You see, the elbow I scraped open this afternoon had just recently begun to scab over from having been scraped open by a similar fall a couple weeks ago.

In fact, I have a long history of accidental injuries, and since I'm lying in bed, bandaged up and holding an ice pack to my leg with nothing better to do than blog, I might as well recount a few of the highlights of my not-so-romantic affair with the ground. 

My Injuries

1. The start of it all - Terry Quantum broke my ankle

 

I guess the beginning of the affair was when I broke my right ankle at summer camp the summer I turned 12.

It was the first night of camp, the golf cart was busy, and cats and dogs were falling from the sky in buckets.

So, one of the counselors, a man who would later come to be known as Terry Quantum (or simply TQ), offered me a piggy-back ride.

I blurred out your face, plus this picture is already on Facebook...

When I went to get on his back, though, I fell down the stairs. 

I can't find a picture of the stairs on the barn anywhere, but they're kinda like those stairs in the background of the picture of TQ. 

Anyway, TQ (who was not yet TQ, but he can time travel, so maybe he was ... my head hurts now) caught me, but not before my right ankle snapped.

Of course, I was already on crutches and had no idea that my ankle was broken, so although (future?) TQ carried me to Club Med in the middle of the night for a nurse to examine my ankle, my mom wasn't called and I went three weeks without a diagnosis. 

Doctor: We want more x-rays of her ankle. 

Mom: Why?

Doctor: It's broken. Has been for about three weeks.

Mom: Impossible. She hasn't even fallen down recently.

Me: Well, actually, funny story...

TQ skipped camp the next year, which I can only assume means that he was already TQ and had time traveled and therefore already knew my ankle was broken.

2. I sprained my ankle - a bunch


Once, I slipped on water in the school cafeteria and ended up going on a field trip to Putt Putt in a wheelchair.

That was the day I bought Animal from the prize counter.

Once, I stuck my crutch in a hole in the soccer field at school and twisted my ankle.

I was pretty sure crutches were supposed to help you walk...

Once, I stubbed my toe on a rock on a hill at camp, and I tumbled down the hill and sprained my ankle.

Ok, I know this is a stretch as far as illustrations go. Just bear with me.

Once, I slipped in the dining hall at camp while I was playing Heads Up, Seven Up. I screamed, and TQ rushed to my side and said, "At least it's not my fault this time."

Parents, be warned. Serious injury can occur while playing this game.

3. I injured myself at another summer camp, and they called my Mom this time.

At summer camp in Montana when I was 13 or 14, I slammed full-force into a wooden "rock" wall, ripping open my left leg and filling my skin with splinters. 

This was the first, but not the last, time that a camp doctor insisted on calling my Mom.

(The second time was after the Heads Up Seven Up game). 

4. I got to college and sprained my ankle again. 

Last fall, I arrived back on campus for the start of my sophomore year of college, and I promptly sprained my ankle. 

I fell over in my room, which the RA had a difficult time believing, since I didn't trip on anything (except my own feet, and the floor)

Anyway, I spent all night in the ER, and I got a lovely black boot to wear for a while. 

I don't think the doctor who prescribed this realized that I can't "walk" 

Anyway, the rest of that story is much too long for this post, so ... moving on!

5. I crashed my scooter

Y'all have all heard of Herbie, my adorable red electric mobility scooter. 

Remember me?

So, one night I was driving home at around midnight, having just sent Peter Pan to his room to bandage up scrapes on his leg from tripping over his bicycle. 

Once again, absolutely no relevance - I just feel like everything needs illustrations!

I was texting Awesome Guy (because I am a moron), and looked up just in time to see a curb in front of me. 

I swerved, and Herbie flipped on his side, spilling me out onto the asphalt. 

As I would find out later, my leg was bruised and my knee was scraped open and bleeding rather profusely.

I apparently don't deal with trauma, though, and so I just reached for my phone, texted Awesome Guy, and then lay in the street and sobbed until a stranger came and helped me. 

Pan claims the guy was my guardian angel, but I'm pretty sure he's another student. I mean, I've seen him around before, so unless my guardian angel decided to enroll full-time at Vandy...

Mom: "That wouldn't be a bad idea."

Incredibly long story ridiculously short, I eventually made it home, and my friends bandaged me up and cheered me up. 

Lovaah played this for me (in many different languages). 

So, there you have it - a brief history of a bunch of my injuries. 

Right now, though, I should get some sleep. Camp starts on Saturday, and I don't want to end up loopy on painkillers the whole week again (That story is for another time). 

Good night!