Saturday, May 10, 2014

I'm so Bored that I graduated college

Sorry I've been absent from this blog for so long. Yesterday, however, I graduated college (with a B.A. in Spanish). In honor of the end of this part of life's journey, I have compiled a list of the top 5 ways to annoy people now that you've graduated college:
Because it's not a blog post without a "top" something list...
5. Force everyone to congratulate you!

Mention graduation as much as possible. Make it impossible for anyone to not congratulate you without looking like a horrible person.
Preferably, write a blog post about it!
4. Post pictures of your diploma all over the internet.

Your diploma's not official until you've tweeted it, snapchatted it, and instagrammed. Get on it!
Bonus points if you've already framed it.
3. Wear your cap (and tassle) everywhere.

Not everyone could make it to graduation, so continue to wear your cap and anythiing else they let you keep for at least 2 weeks straight. 
Throw your cap in the air and shout hooray every 5 seconds.
2. Start every sentence with "Back when I was in college." 

Stress the past tense when talking about college. And you should talk about college a lot. Give current students advice based on your four years of wisdom and make sure to point out that you're done with all that.
When I was your age, we hiked up a mountain to get to the dining hall.
1. Whine about missing college... A LOT.

Nothing tells everyone you've graduated quite as well as complaining that you've graduated. Talk about nothing but college memories for as long as you can. Bonus points if you break down crying every time anyone tries to congratulate you.
But make sure that you still follow #1 on this list!
Once you've annoyed everyone around you, maybe you can actually mentally deal with graduation yourself. Good luck!

Bored Game Time!

Answer: If you said yes, you're crazy. But thanks for believing in me. Move forward 1 space.
Question: What degree will I be earning next?

Saturday, April 26, 2014

I'm so Bored that I complained about graduation

I found this post in my drafts folder. It's super old, but I'm so Bored that I decided to publish it. Enjoy! Oh, and I'm too lazy to find pictures for it, so you just get a stock photo of a bathroom. Sorry! 

Graduation is 13 days away, and I've been complaining to everyone that will listen. After all, I don't know how to be a real adult. I could write 20 posts about everything I will miss about college, but instead, here are 5 things I will never miss:
5. Communal bathrooms

How did they get it clean enough to take this photo?
I know people that complain constantly about public bathrooms - they're messy and crowded and the toilet paper is awful. In college, though, there is no other bathroom. Every bathroom is public, and privacy is a thing of the past (and now of the closely-approaching future).

4. Frat parties

The first semester of college, frats seem cool. They have all the alcohol. They have hot guys. They throw large parties. It's every high school outcast's dream. And a lot of people at my school were not very popular in high school. But once you actually experience a frat party, you discover that it's loud and obnoxious and  full of drunk people shoving everyone around them and slurring their words. You don't look cool; you just look stupid. And heaven knows what that is all over the floor.
Mostly, though, I won't miss being woken up at all hours of the night by parties next door, which leads me to:

3. Dorms

This whole year, I've compared my dorm to a prison. We live in small little cells with windows we can't open and a single square of light in the ceiling. Oh, and RA's and other staff have keys and can open your room without knocking anytime they want. We pay more than most apartments cost to live in a crowded building with lots of rules. And to the people who set off door alarms in the middle of the night, I'm going to not miss you especially. 

2. Constant Construction

Everything's getting updated, all the time. They talk about five and ten year plans, but I don't think they're real. As soon as they finish renovating a space, they start planning on how to renovate it again. And constant construction means sidewalks and parking lots are closed. It also means you learn to fall asleep to the sounds of giant drills. Can't we just say, "Wow! The university looks great. I think we can leave it like this for a few months!"? And while they're busy putting fancy, meaningless renovations to every space on campus, they haven't bothered to improve the elevators or handicap entrances.

1. Nothing

Yup, that's right. I was wrong. I can't think of a fifth thing I won't miss. For all its faults, I love college. This place is my home. It's where I learned who I was and met most of my friends. So if you can't find me in the crowd come graduation day, I'll be hiding in my dorm room closet, hoping that they'll just let me stay here forever.