I'm so Bored that I made another list of reasons to chop off your leg, Pt. 1

My prosthetist, T-Rex, told me the other day that the advantages of being an amputee don't outweigh the disadvantages.

Now I just have to hope he never finds this blog.

I disagree, though. Being an amputee is awesome! I've made a handy list of pros and cons so you can see for yourself. I'll start with the bad because you should always end on a high note.

but not that high...

Con #1: You don't have two "real" legs anymore.

Sure, when you become an amputee, you lose your leg forever. You can't see it, touch it, or use it. It's gone. No more walking on two real legs. Ever.

My surgeon actually told me the surgery was irreversible, in case I thought he could just sew it back on if I changed my mind.

But why worry about that? The thought of permanently losing a body part is nothing in comparison to:

Pro #1: Interchangeable sockets, possibly with sparkles!

Be honest. Haven't you ever thought, I wish I could have a tattoo on my leg? But not just one. I want a bunch of interchangeable tattoos that I can choose between each morning. With prosthetics, you can do that! Just get a bunch of sockets with different designs and change them at will. I mean, it might be pretty expensive, but so are tattoos on a real leg, and those aren't interchangeable.

Finding Nemo!

Con #2: Phantom limb pain

I'll admit, phantom limb pain is probably one of the worst feelings you will experience in your whole life. And there's next to nothing that most doctors can do about it.

This will dull the pain by making you black out during class!

But don't worry about silly stuff like phantom limb pain. Instead, think of the possibilities:

Pro #2: Customizable legs!

So maybe you're not into tattoos, but haven't you ever wanted a different leg for each activity. Maybe you want to be able to simply use a toolkit to fix a broken ankle.

No one could put him back together, but I can assemble myself!

Con #3: People constantly assume you're helpless.

Strangers will ask if they can "please help you with something!" When you're walking up stairs, people will grab your arm and almost knock you over in their creepy attempt to "help" you.

Seriously, this is offensive

 But don't let their creepiness get to you, because:

Pro #3: You can pull off your leg in public and freak people out.

This is especially poignant if you have a realistic-looking prosthetic, or if you're wearing long, loose pants, but it works no matter what. That guy you like passes by you every day without a second glance? Just take off your leg!

No! I meant take off your prosthetic leg!

There are many more amazing advantages to amputation, but I don't want to make this post too long, so be on the lookout for more posts on the topic!

Bored Game Time!

Answer: John was the only one that answered, so he gets a free drink on me sometime, and he gets to move forward 5 spaces in the board game that literally no one is playing :P

Question: What's the best ting to say to a stranger when they insist that you need help? Creative answers will win prizes! And everyone who answers gets to move forward 3 spaces.