I'm so Bored that I went to a wedding

Today, I went to a wedding.

Obviously, I did not actually go because I was Bored. I went because I was invited, and because weddings in general are awesome.

Weddings, however, do provide a great escape from Boredom if you are ever Bored.

So, I have compiled a list of:

Reasons Why You Should Become a Wedding Crasher (a.k.a Why I Love Weddings)

1. Old/middle-aged ladies

Old and middle-aged ladies at weddings are among the most fun people in the universe. They're the ones who sit behind you and ask if the groomsmen are married.

"Let's GET 'IM!"

They're the ones that tell you funny stories about their weddings, and they're the best dancers at the reception (after a few trips to the open bar).

2. Little kids

My friend Samma is prone to crying at how cute and precious children are, so I wish she could have been at the wedding I went to today.

The ringbearer was a toddler, a little boy who was carried up the aisle by a bridesmaid.

The ring-bearer-bearer bore the ring-bearer

The ringbearer did not want to be carried, apparently, and asked loudly to be put down before he was carried up the aisle. This request was refused, quite understandably.

When he reached the front of the church, he threw himself into his dad's arms and yelled "HI, DADDY!" loud enough for everyone to hear.

Everyone laughed, including the groom, which leads me to #3:

3. The groom

Ever since I watched 27 Dresses for the first time, I have been taking the main characters' advice and watching the groom's face at every wedding.

Both of the main characters in that movie actually give their own opinions about looking at the groom:


Jane said:

"You know how the bride makes her entrance and everybody turns to look at her? That’s when I look at the groom. Cause his face says it all you know? The pure love there."  

And Kevin said:

"When the bride comes in and she makes her giant grand entrance, I like to glance back at the poor bastard getting married. Cause even though I think he’s an idiot for willingly entering into the last legal form of slavery, he always looks really, really happy."

And after all that talk about slavery, they still ended up married...

I'm gonna go with Jane's explanation.

4. Food

Only at weddings can you eat a whole platter of Havarti cheese, steak and potatoes, and macaroni and cheese with lobster chunks in it and then not have anyone look at you weird when you go back for seconds and a coke float.

Your stomach might judge you, but nobody else will.

5. Bouquets

If you really love reasons 1-4, get in the front of the bouquet line and catch it, so that you can throw your own spectacular wedding.

If, because you are insane or inept, you don't care about old people, babies, true love, and food, then stay far away from the bouquet and leave it for me, because I want to have a Havarti-eating party wedding of my own.