I'm so Bored that I watched Desperate Housewives

School is finally out for summer (FOR EVER! jk, not really), and consequently I've had a lot more spare time on my hands.

So I've become quite popular with all the time beggars

In all seriousness, though, I've been Bored out of my mind. (Inside my mind, I'm an elf ... don't ask.)

I mean, what am I supposed to do without organic chemistry looming over me to look forward to every day?

Dance! That's what!

Unfortunately, I haven't even had anything worthy of a blog post in a while, because I've actually been incredibly Bored (In case you haven't noticed, most of my supposed "Boredom" activities were actually done while on vacation far away from this realm ... please don't tell the king!)

Anyway, while in Boredom, I've been watching a bunch of television (to Samma: Yes, this explains your 'recent activity' on Hulu - please don't judge me!) In the past week, I have watched nearly an entire season of (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't judge me!) Desperate Housewives, and I feel that it is time for a rant.

I'm going to forget for a minute that there is not a single actually decent person on that show, that nearly everyone on the show has either directly killed someone or been part of a conspiracy involving death, and that nobody in modern times is that friendly with their neighbors. I'm also going to forget that all of this is supposed to happen on one street, and that, far from just being friendly with their neighbors, these people don't seem to have lives apart from Wisteria Lane.

"I've fallen in love with multiple psychopaths by the end of the second season!"

No, today I'm just going to complain about the title of the show: "Desperate Housewives." The first word makes perfect sense. If you've never seen the show, just look at the picture of Bree I posted above. These women are definitely desperate almost all of the time. What I don't get is how they are all supposedly housewives.

Dictionary.com has 2 definitions for the noun form of the word "housewife." (There is also an archaic verb form which basically means "to be a housewife.")

The first definition is "a married woman who manages her own household, especially as her principal occupation."

And who apparently is very fond of milk...

The second definition is uniquely British: "a sewing box; a small case or box for needles, thread, etc."

I'm going to assume for now that this show was not meant to be about desperate sewing boxes, and focus on the first definition. 

To fit this first definition, the protagonists of the show must, first and foremost, be married women. You cannot be a housewife without being a wife.

However, when the show starts, one of the four main protagonists is already divorced.

"And I'm an author, not a homemaker"

In fact, throughout the next three seasons, the only one of the four main "housewives" to remain married the entire time is Lynette Scavo, and she has a job outside the house most of the time.

"And even I get divorced for about 10 minutes in the 8th season."

In the episode I'm currently watching, they are all married (a rare occasion on this show), but 2 of them have been divorced once and every single one of them is destined for a future divorce. Also, only two of them actually run the home as their primary occupation.

So, why on Earth wasn't this show called something like "The Wacky Women of Wisteria"? I'm sorry, ABC, but you really need a dictionary.

Also, as a final note, using deceased neighbors as narrators - creepy.

I'm kinda glad that this series concluded earlier this month. With it gone, though, I'm gonna need some ideas for hobbies in Boredom.

Any ideas?