So, I have decided to mock some song lyrics, starting with country music, since it is my favorite genre.
Here goes:
1. "I cut my bangs with some rusty kitchen scissors."
For
But her chosen form of expression?
Giving herself a bad haircut.
Because nothing says, "I was so in love with him. My heart will never mend." like chopping off your bangs.
Slow down, girl. You're out of control.
2. "You stole my happy."
Yeah, I get it, Carrie. He made you cry. But, seriously, he stole your happy?
You told him, all right. Told him you didn't pass first grade, that is.
3. "And our baby girl says she believes that he is the only one down the road."
Question #1: Why is everyone in this guy's family marrying their neighbors? Is it impossible that they might marry somebody who lives, say, on the other side of town?
Question #2: Why does the above statement make him think his daughter wants to marry the guy? She might have just been remarking that he is the only guy her age on the street.
Moving on.
4. "I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger."
I get the symbolism of saying she's green, but why is her ring green? What kind of ring is she wearing? I know green rings exist, but it's such a random mention of it, and as I don't have a picture of it,
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW HOW GREEN IT IS?
5. "My love is ... honest as a Robin on a springtime window sill and longer than the song of a whippoorwill."
Forgetting the fact that I don't really know how deep a holler is, but I'm willing to bet I won't be satisfied with love only a little deeper than it, I would like to know:
Do robins actually have a reputation for being honest? I mean, I guess birds can't lie, but what's so special about robins in particular?
and
Why are you comparing the length of your love to the length of the song of a bird? Because, even if the whippoorwill's song is exceptionally long, it still can't be longer than a few minutes. Wow. Your love will last longer than 5 minutes, perhaps?
How inspiring.
Bored Game Time!
Answer: It's really difficult to choose, but I do love 11 so much. If you got the reference, you may move forward 5 spaces, because I love you. If you chose 11, move forward another 11 spaces, just because.
Question: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
There are a lot of lyrics to be mocked in If I Die Young. The singer is 29, yet she's never known the loving of a man? Why does she think people will want to listen to her after she's gone? Lots of people die with no one caring what they say. How can she be buried in satin AND laid down on a bed of roses AND sunk in the river at dawn? Perhaps most importantly, why is she fantasizing about her funeral? Will The Band Perry ever chart a single that isn't about death?
ReplyDeleteProbably not. Why would you stop singing about death when it's making you so much money? Still, I really like the band's music, even if some of the lyrics are a bit absurd. If you ever want to do a guest post on here making fun of something, by the way, just let me know. And thanks for reading!
DeleteActually, whippoorwills sing for hours at a time...still not a great love story though.
ReplyDelete