I'm so Bored that I lied about my leg

Today marks 5 weeks since my leg was amputated, and there has not been a single day in this entire 5 weeks in which somebody did not ask, "What happened?" or "Why?"

This happened

Of course, telling the whole story gets kinda boring after a while, plus nobody really listens to anything past """. (For anybody everybody who missed that, nobody listens past me opening my mouth - the opening quotations are in quotations ... never mind).

So, I've come up with a list of ten random (really not my top ten list at all) reasons for my leg being amputated. I will try to sort the reasons by believability, meaning that #10 would be the least believable to a random stranger, and #1 the most.

Ready?

10 Random Reasons to Amputate a Leg

10. Cancer 
For some reason, maybe because it's too boring an excuse to the average person, nobody wants to believe that cancer causes physical impairments and deformities. I've had people guess so many things, but only other cancer survivors guess cancer.

Cancer is just another word for Alopecia, right?

9. Motorcycle Accident
Unfortunately, motorcycle accidents are used as an excuse to often, so nobody would believe me.

Also, anybody who thinks I could learn to drive one of these doesn't know me very well.

8. Shark Attack

This excuse is also overused, and sharks really aren't quite as evil as people think they are.

Although this was an awesome movie!

7. I fell off a building.

This lie just seems like it would become too intricate - Which building? When? Why is there no video footage or news reports about it?

Sorry, but your fall wasn't Facebook official, so it didn't happen,

6. Giant jungle cats attacked me. 

This is basically the same story as the shark, just a little less recognizable as cliche. I mean, I could see myself losing in a fight against a mountain lion, or maybe even to a panther.

They're all fun and games until you collapse in laughter, then they pounce!

5. I am the sole survivor of a nuclear explosion.

You may wonder why this ranks higher than shark and panther attacks, but that wondering will take you a while, so I really wouldn't advise it.

Yes, I'm that awesome. My leg exploded and I just hopped away...

4. That answer is classified information/Secret Spy Mission

People don't generally believe this necessarily, but they don't really not believe it either. I mean, it's not like they're going to be able to prove I'm not a spy...

Or I could be a ninja, you'd never know!

3. I'm part of a genetic experiment

They're trying to see if having only one leg makes you smarter. 

Look! It worked!

2. I got run over by a bulldozer while playing soccer. Everyone else that got run over died, so I'm really lucky. 

I've actually had multiple people believe this exact story. There was a girl who doubted a little of what I'd said, though. Her one question was: 

How did the bulldozer [driver] not see you?!

And, drumroll please, the #1 answer, most likely to be believed by most strangers I pass on the sidewalk is:

1. What amputation? My leg just turned invisible. 

I mean, I can still feel it. It's only your perception that's changed, not mine. Just because my leg's not real to you doesn't mean it can't be real to me.

Ghost, invisible - tomato, tomato

Do you have a better lie for me to tell people about my amputation? Comment below! Best lie will receive a prize!

Update: I forgot to answer the question from last post. It is snickerdoodle, for anyone who didn't know. In case there is anybody actually playing my game, you may move forward one space. 

I know I owe you a question as well, so: Who was the first American woman gymnast to win a gold medal in both the team and individual all-around events at the Olympics? 

Also, congrats to Emily. I know that no one else has submitted a lie yet, but I'm afraid you won't be able to give me an excuse I like better than being splinched. So, Emily, what's your favorite dessert? (Unless you would for some reason prefer a cross-stitch design, a friendship bracelet, or a pillow - those are the only things I know how to make...)