Tuesday, July 19, 2011

I'm So Bored that I gave myself a headache playing on the Wii

So, today, I got up obsecenely early (like...9 something!) so that I could go to a doctor's appointment at which the doctor basically told me he had no idea why I'd been referred to him (nobody does, Doc, it's ok). Afterwards, I had way more time on my hands than I usually do (I generally eat time with a fork), and seeing as there was only one show in my Hulu queue, I soon resorted to stealing the Wii blipper (aka, the Wii remote, for all people who do not know me outside of Boredom) from my little brother and playing swordfight showdown for about three hours.  I definitely got past more than 4 levels in that time...Anyway, spending this much time playing a video game did 2 things. First of all, it gave me a massive headache, which is not really surprising. The list of things that gives me headaches is about as long as the list of things that have at one time or another been at least vaguely connected to cancer (for anyone who doesn't know, that list contains everything from bacon to childbirth to not having children to bubble bath). Lights, sounds, tv, heat, cold, computer, little brothers, stress, lack of food, lack of sleep, lack of caffeine, baseballs thrown at my head, and chemistry exams all give me horrible headaches. Of course, now that I have a headache, I have stopped playing on the Wii and taken medicine, but I am, of course, updating my blog before I do anything else, because the second thing playing on the Wii did was remind me of the circular evolution of video games. I'm going to assume that all the readers of my blog are either familiar with Little Bear stories or can look them up. Video games remind me of the Little Bear story in which he is cold and wants something to put on. When he is bundled up in layers of clothes, his mother offers him a fur coat, and when he accepts, she takes off all the clothes and sends him out to play naked, because he obviously already has a fur coat. When I was younger, I truly believed that the moral of this story was that clothes were pointless and we should all play outside naked, but that is completely beside the point of my current rambling. I like video games because they have always been something anyone could play, even cripples like myself. The evolution of video games, however, goes like this:
Two little kids are dancing around. They say "Mom, I'm Bored. I want something more advanced!" Mom invites them inside, gives them a gamecube (for brevity's sake, I omit several generations of gaming. sorry, atari fans and their predecessors), and says "Here, now you can dance just by hitting buttons." After a few minutes (or years), the kids say "Mom, I'm Bored. I want something more advanced!" Dutiful Mom gives them a Wii. "Here," she says, "Now you can dance by waving this blipper around." In a little while, the kids say, "I'm Bored, I want something more advanced." Ever obliging Mom gives them a Kinect, and says  "Here, now you can dance by...DANCING." If the kids say they're Bored one more time, I bet you that Mom's going to take all the game systems away and send them back outside.
I would go on more of a rant about video games, but I promised my bestie we could watch Music & Lyrics, so for now I must leave Boredom. Au revoir!

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