I'm so Bored that I baked cookies

It's CHRISTMAS EVE!

Do you know what that means?

Jesus, you say? Yes, Him too ... but mostly, COOKIES!***

Today (Actually yesterday, technically, but I haven't been to sleep yet) I have made:

Snickerdoodles

Sour cream cookies

Sugar cookies (which I made the dough for yesterday [or two days ago, really ... you know what I mean!])

AND

Ginger bread cookie dough (although it might taste a little odd, seeing as we didn't have enough molasses, so I substituted some golden syrup and some dark corn syrup for over half of the molasses [which will probably taste doubly weird, because the dark corn syrup was supposed to be dark cane syrup...])

So far, all of these taste scrumptious! (I haven't tasted the ginger bread, and frankly I don't intend to do so, since ginger is NASTY!)

However, yesterday (by which I mean Thursday), I had adventures in Bakeland, because I used the wrong snickerdoodle recipe.

For those of you who don't know, snickerdoodles are a favorite Christmas treat in Boredom. They are made by rolling a scrumptious (I like that word!) dough into balls, which are then rolled in a cinnamon sugar mixture.

SNICKERDOODLES...YUMMMMMY

Sometimes, I like to also put colored sugar on them, to make them Christmas-y and festive.

Anyway, there is a book with an awesome snickerdoodle recipe in it. If you use this recipe, you get delicious snickerdoodles. If you use this book and roll some of the cookies in cinnamon sugar and then roll one in just sugar, my mom will ask you, "Is that the albino snickerdoodle?" We used this book today (yesterday).

This is the RIGHT book for Snickerdoodles

However, there is some old cookies and sweets cookbook in my kitchen (I'm not going to check the name of the book right now) which has a thoroughly bizarre recipe for "snickerdoodles." This recipe has way too high a ratio of liquids to solids, such as flour.  It also uses MILK. Hint #1: If the recipe calls for milk, it is not a snickerdoodle recipe...

So, yesterday (Thursday), my little brothers and I mixed up this "snickerdoodle recipe," and it came out looking like a cross between thick cake batter and frosting. I wish I'd gotten a picture of it. Anyway, I resisted the urge to pour it into a cake pan and bake it into a snickerdoodle cake. (By the way, snickerdoodle cake is real and delicious - check out the recipe in the Cake Mix Doctor [But if you're following my blog, you already know this...])

Instead, I mixed in more flour and a little more sugar. The resulting dough was rather sticky, but was at least manageable as dough. I rolled it into balls, which I then rolled in cinnamon sugar and colored sugar (still believing that I was making snickerdoodles), and baked.

The result was a cookie which looked like a snickerdoodle. It smelled like a snickerdoodle. It felt like a snickerdoodle. I suppose it even sounded like a snickerdoodle.

This imposter cookie, however, did not taste like a snickerdoodle.

As such, we have dubbed the cookies Katiedoodles*. They were really quite good, although they were not what we were expecting to bake.

Unfortunately, they are now an endangered species of cookie. There is only one left, and it is wrapped up and hidden, awaiting a visit from my Lovaaah.

If you would like to try one, however, I could always attempt to recreate them.

So, the moral of the story is: The best things in life, be they Messiahs or cookies, often appear in rather unexpected ways.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

*The name Katiedoodle is not meant to refer to a cookie that contains Katie, as Katie is alive and well. It is merely meant to reflect Katie's** ownership of the recipe, as opposed to Snicker's ownership of his recipe. 


**The name Katie is not meant to refer to me as if it were my actual name, but is used only because Katiedoodle seems a far more delightful name for a cookie than  Boreddoodle. I am Bored, and any connection to the name Katie is purely coincidental. 


***Actually, mostly Jesus, in case you were confused.

I'm so Bored that I stole Fisheater's pet rock

Hi, my faithful followers!

(By that, of course, I mean the empty void of cyberspace...I'm talking to myself - how Bored am I?)

I finished exams, passed all but one of them (organic chemistry is a monster, but I shall beat it next semester), and now I am at home, surrounded by siblings, stockings, decorations, and a giant hole. I'm about to be surrounded by cookie dough, as soon as I finish this post.

Since none of that is interesting, I'm going to tell you about my last day at school this semester. This story, like most of the good ones, features Fisheater and the rest of his clan.

The week had been pretty crazy. Most of my classes finished before exam week, and my two remaining exams weren't til Friday and Saturday, so I had a lot of free time. I spent most of it in Mayf 15, except for a long stretch of time that I spent in a physics lab...

The last day arrived, Saturday. Due to the craziness of my friends, the relentless presence of Boredom, and Fisheater repeatedly whispering "You're going to FAIL!" the only sleep I had acquired in the past 72 hours consisted of an afternoon nap and a few hours Thursday night. Needless to say, I needed sleep.

I went home to my dorm and crashed, but my sleep was constantly interrupted. My dad called, saying he was on the way to pick me up for Christmas break. Incoherently, I yelled something like, "It won't work! Nothing will work! I can't go!" and then hung up the phone.

When I awoke about an hour later, I realized that I had yelled at my dad and possibly hung up on him, so I called him back to apologize. He said he and my sister would get to the dorm while I was in my orgo exam.

Delighted with the idea of not packing by myself, I cleaned my room, took a shower, and headed out to find lunch before my orgo exam. The exam started at 3. I left my dorm at about 2:20. Totally had time for lunch!

Here's an interesting thing about my school. They close all the dining halls DURING exam week. Not after exam week, DURING! This means that if you are unlucky enough to have an exam on Saturday (i.e. if you are a science major or pre-med) than you do not get to eat anything except munchie mart food. Munchie marts are like convenience stores - they sell chips, pretzels, Vitamin water, and random assortments of candy and unidentifiable frozen entrees.

I had forgotten that my school hates me, so I tried to go to Rand - closed. Ok, I'll try upstairs at the Pub - also closed. Fine, I'll go downstairs to the coffee shop - CLOSED. At this point, it was about 2:35, so I was pretty desperate. Dear administration, ALL I WANT IS FOOD! Anyway, I decided to try Rotiki, a pizza place. So, I drove over there, only to find it closed, of course. Luckily, the munchie mart attached to it was still open, so I bought a package of pretzels, some Coke (I was in dire need of caffeine), and some frozen lasagna.

What I thought was a 4 minute cook time actually turned out to be an 8 minute cook time. (The package said cook for 4 minutes, then cook for another 4 minutes...) So, I cooked it for 6 minutes, but then it was burning hot, and I only had 15 minutes to get across campus for my exam.

So, I ate hot lasagna WHILE I drove to class. Driving with your left hand while you eat lasagna with your right hand and then proceed to hyperventilate because the lasagna is way too hot to eat is totally normal, right? Good.

Anyway, I made it to the exam, went inside, sat down, and looked at my exam. I knew just about none of the answers.

I prayed. I still didn't know the answers.

So, I started guessing randomly.

After about an hour, I realized that I was guessing randomly about complex reaction mechanisms. I was never going to pass this exam. I was already signed up to take the class again next semester, and nothing was going to change that.

So, why exactly was I sitting there?

I drew a Santa hat on the Benzene structure on the last page.

You told me to transform the benzene, so I did. Merry Christmas!

Then, I left. I went back to my dorm and found my dad and sister...not there. I called my dad, and he said, "We're at the mall. Be there soon."

Basically, I knew that I had plenty of time to kill.

So, I murdered it. 

Actually, I packed. Then, I found a website for small children with coloring pages.

Yeah, I'm 5...

Then, Samma told me she was making crescent rolls...YUM! So, I went back over to 15.

The following convo ensued:

Samma: "Hey, Fisheater left his room unlocked!"

Me: "Oh, we should make sure he has his key, then lock it."

Samma (from inside the room): "Oh, you're a much better person than me. I was just going to steal stuff."

So, we did.

Fisheater should take better care of his rock...

Apparently, the rock's name is Sal. She is having lots of fun in Boredom.

I'm so Bored that I sang about the rain

Hello, lovelies!

I am back in school after a week at home (I'm not originally from Boredom), so I haven't had any true adventures in Boredom in a while.

The last few days, though, it has been raining A LOT. So, my family and I started naming off songs that have the word "rain" in them.

I've been informed that Rudolph the Red-Nosed Raindeer does not count...

Anyway, here's a list of songs about rain. Enjoy the Youtube videos and feel free to add your own to the list. I might not be back to the blogosphere until after exams (my last exam is organic chemistry on Dec. 17...eek!)

Songs about Rain (or with the word rain anywhere in the song):

1. Songs about Rain - Gary Allen

My mom and sister claimed I was making this song up, but it's REAL!

Proof:



2. When It Rains - Eli Young Band

"Start out depressed - everything comes as a pleasant surprise." New life motto :P



3. My Favorite Things - Julie Andrews

By the way, if you have never seen The Sound of Music, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE?

I could have embedded a different video, but I wanted to share the actual scene from the movie.

4. The Ants Go Marching - I have no idea who sang this first...

These ants SCARE me! Also, I apologize if this is a bad rendition of the song - I don't have the sound on...



5. Singin' in the Rain - Gene Kelly

Fun trivia - suits shrink in the rain...



6. If All the Raindrops

I just embedded a Barney video on my blog...I have officially lost my mind.



7. Kentucky Rain - Elvis Presley

Of course, no list of songs would be complete without some mention of the King.



8. Rainy Night in Georgia - Brook Benton

I actually have never heard this song, but it's mentioned in Songs About Rain.



9. Here Comes That Rainy Day Feeling Again - The Fortunes

This is also mentioned by Gary Allen.



10. Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head - BJ Thomas?

I like that he fusses at the sun...



11. It's Raining Men - Weather Girls

Or, as one of my besties and I say, "It's green and red"

Long story...



12. Somewhere Over the Rainbow

13. Brown Eyed Girl - Van Morrison

14. Don't Rain on My Parade

15. It's Raining, It's Pouring

16. Rain, Rain, Go Away

17. Have You Ever Seen the Rain? - Creedence Clearwater

18. Here Comes the Rain - Mavericks

19. I Can See Clearly Now - Bob Marley

20. The Itsy Bitsy Spider

21. Lightning Strikes - Lou Christy

22. Walking in Memphis

We had a lot more, but I really should go study for exams. Comment with more songs! :)

I'm so Bored that I rewrote fairy tales

Ok, so I'm watching the new show Once Upon a Time with two of my siblings, and my little brother asked "Whose baby did Rumpelstiltskin steal?" So, for a few moments we laughed at the idea of Rumpelstiltskin being inserted into random other fairy tales and nursery rhymes. But then I thought, "Why not?" Of course, Rumpelstiltskin should be in every story - it would make them so much more interesting.

For instance, Cinderella:

Once upon a time, Cinderella wished she could go to a ball.

I mean, seriously, I'm in a fairy tale and I have to clean the house? What kind of lame world is this?

Then, her fairy godmother showed up and let her go to the ball. 

Because true magic is the ability to put wheels on a hollow pumpkin!

While at the ball, she met Prince Charming

I am wearing a crown. Therefore, I am super hot!

And on the way out, she dropped her glass slipper. 

It was a little too fragile to walk on anyway...

The next day, Cinderella was sitting at home, dreaming about Prince Charming.

I'm so depressed I don't even want to play with my mice...Oh yeah, and I shaved my hair.

When suddenly, she heard a knock on the door. She ran to the door and opened it. There, standing in her doorway, with her glass slipper in his hand, was

RUMPELSTILTSKIN! "Give me your baby!"

Cinderella then ran around the town screaming, "He's climbing in your fairy tales, snatching your endings up, trying to change 'em, so you better hide your kids, hide their names, and hide your slippers too, cuz apparently he'll steal anything."

Yeah, that Rumpelstiltskin is mean. After all, everyone knows the story of Humpty Dumpty. 

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

Ever noticed that the poem doesn't mention an egg anywhere?

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. 

All the king's horses and all the king's men

Couldn't get Humpty's baby back from Rumpelstiltskin again.

See? Rumpelstiltskin is EVERYWHERE!

"Hey, check out my first-born baby collection!" - Rumpelstiltskin's words to house guests, according to my little brother. 

So that's where little Gertrude went...darn babysitting service.

*Note: Thanks to my little brother for drawing the baby collection!

I'm So Bored that I went 8 stories underground

In How I Met Your Mother, Ted tells his children that his mom always told him, "Nothing good happens after 2 a.m." I've got to agree with Barney Stinson on this one, though, and say that EVERYTHING good happens after 2 a.m.

I mean, after all, every time of day is after 2 a.m. except for the two hours between midnight and 2, and even those hours are after 2 a.m. the previous day. So, if something good is going to happen, it will be after 2 a.m.

In all seriousness, though, some of my most exciting stories are about my friends and me staying up late acting crazy and stupid.

And that is exactly what happened on Saturday night.

I was sitting in my dorm room around midnight, Bored as usual, watching the newest episode of House (which was OK, I'm still mad about Huddy breaking up...) and suddenly I thought, why am I sitting here alone when I could be acting crazy and stupid with my friends?

So, I texted my friends from a few houses over, and I said "Hey, let's go do something crazy and stupid." They (somewhat reluctantly) agreed, and soon we were all leaving my room. Oh, you need names. Let's call them "Wife," "Fisheater," and "Movie Guy." Ok, so Wife, Fisheater, Movie Guy, and I left my dorm, after I convinced Fisheater to not eat Poppy, my beautiful blue betta fish.

We didn't have any plans, and I was Bored and out of awesome ideas, so somebody said, "Let's go into a parking garage!"

Ok, it was me...

Anyway, we went into a parking garage which goes 8 floors underground, and we took the elevator down to the bottom.  The walls of the garage aren't complete, so you can see the rocks outside with water flowing over them - yes, we were basically in a cave.

The garage was empty, of course, and I was still Bored, so I  started doing doughnuts in my scooter, with Wife hanging on for dear life.

After a while, Fisheater wanted a turn. I drove him around too, but closing my eyes might have been a mistake. 

Afterwards, I was incredibly dizzy,  so I'm kinda glad Movie Guy didn't want a turn.

Well, that was about all the fun we could think of to have in the bottom of a parking garage, so we left.

Once outside, Fisheater declared he was going to bed.  He invited us all to come, but we were all a little uneasy about the idea of sleeping together after only one date. So, he went to bed alone, and we went to Dunkin' Donuts, because one type of doughnuts wasn't enough for the night.

I was still Bored. "Let's play truth or dare!" someone exclaimed.

Ok, it was me...

We went back to my dorm to play truth or dare, but there were a bunch of people in my common area, so we had to wait for them to leave.

After they left, we played a pretty epic game of truth or dare.

Oh, and Ginger and Freak joined us.

I probably shouldn't spread the details of the game online, in case anyone could be identified and get in trouble, but just know that when I went to bed that night, I was not Bored.

I was definitely Exhausted, though, because it was 4 a.m.

Yeah, the best things always happen after 2 a.m.

I'm so Bored that I let organic chemistry eat my brain

So, when I got to college, I had this idea that I would get straight A's, be absolutely amazing at EVERYTHING, go to med school, and cure cancer.

First day of freshman year, I met a horrendous monster named Chemistry.  Chemistry speaks a language I don't understand, and spent all last year trying to eat me alive. I almost gave up med school altogether.  In fact, I tried to leave college at one point, but I couldn't reach the top shelf of my closet to get my suitcase down.

"Can you come get my suitcase out of the top of my closet for me?" - real text message sent by me to a tall person

This is why I couldn't reach the top shelf...definitely wasn't because I'm too short...

I prevailed though, sorta, and by the end of freshman year, I had passed general chemistry. I decided to stick with pre-med, because I frankly am bad at coming up with new plans.

The organic molecules are struggling through it...why shouldn't I?

So, this year, I enrolled in organic chemistry.  This class instantly started its attack on me, with weapons including an absent professor, complicated molecules, and mechanisms (scientists' bizarre unprovable guesses about how reactions work - I have to memorize all of them...)

"I react by grabbing other molecules with my tongue!"

I tried to resist.  I tried to be strong.  I had conquered inorganic chemistry; I could conquer organic chemistry. THIS MONSTER WOULD NOT DEFEAT ME. As the months went by, though, I realized that organic chemistry is not a monster - it is a majestic beast. It makes so much sense...totally.

Sooooo much sense

I mean, where else can I draw stick figure aliens and get a grade for how much the aliens look like the professor's alien drawings?

Wait. What do you mean, that's not what organic chemistry is? Well, in that case...

I still think I'm right...

I'm So Bored that I caused awkwardness

So, I'm guessing you have seen The Awkward Situation Survival Guide on Hyperbole and a Half. If you haven't, go read it now!

Back? Ok, well as much as I love that blog, I have to admit that I crave awkward situations to alleviate the tediousness of Boredom.  I mean, when have you ever been in the middle of a situation where everyone is staring and your cheeks are red and thought, "Wow, I'm really Bored right now!"? NEVER! So, to help you out of Boredom (don't tell the king I told you this secret to get across the border), I now give you the Awkward Situation Creation Guide - after all, someone has to make awkward situations, right?

Step 1. Say HELLO to EVERYONE! I'm serious. Absolutely everyone you meet gets a hello, not a "hi" or a "hey," but an actual "hello." Draw it out as long as possible. This is especially important to do with strangers, for maximum awkwardness.

For some reason, they never wave back when I do this...

Step 2. So, you've tried just saying hello, but people don't seem to hear you. They must be thinking very hard about something else...Anyway, if you want to create awkwardness (and escape Boredom...I mean...Long Live the King!) then you're going to need a more direct approach. Maybe initiating a conversation all by yourself doesn't work.  So, you need to find an existing conversation to insert yourself into. The conversation's already going, so people are already commited to the situation. All you do is make the situation awkward.

Alien robot costumes always add to the awkwardness of the situation

Step 3. Now, you've found a group of people to attack with your awkwardness, but they just don't seem that impressed by your mad skillz at embarassing yourself. They might say something like, "Oh, your name is amazing. Here, sit down with us and drink coffee." You might feel like you've failed. They don't seem awkwarded out at all. Fear not! You just need something with more...pizzazz! You have two options:
         Option A is the easiest, and can be used well if you know the people in the group. Bring up something embarassing about them.

This option is especially awkward if the guy isn't actually Bob

      Option B. Of course, you don't know everyone, so sometimes, you're just going to have to say something embarassing about yourself. (Hint: It doesn't have to be true.)

In fact, it probably shouldn't be true...

Step 4. Now, the situation is super awkward. All there is left to do is to NOT LEAVE! You leave, and the awkwardness quickly dissipates, allowing you to go back to Boredom and for everyone else to forget about the incident. For maximum awkwardness, stay there. Keep talking, with everyone staring at you awkwardly.

"Please, Bored! We want to hear the song!" you scream, but I am deaf to your pleas

So, stay there, talking. Bask in your glory. You have escaped Boredom, and you have officially changed your name to Awkward.

Note: Thank you very much to my lovaaah, who inspired this post.

I'm so Bored that I went on a quote binge

Yes, you heard me right. I don't binge drink; I binge quote. Whenever I'm sad, or in this case, extremely Bored, I look up quotes and copy them down, or even worse (in my Facebook friends' opinions), post them all over my Facebook so everyone else can quote binge with me.

Quote binging is sort of like the book "If you give a mouse a cookie."  It's also similar to shopping at the Kroger near my house, where the ice cream aisle has toilet paper on it, and when you go looking for other bathroom supplies, you find ice cream toppings right next to the mops 3 aisles away.

Quote binging usually starts off simply enough. I hear something funny or just plain awesome in a movie, and I want to remember the words right, so I look it up.

This time it was a quote from the movie I.Q.

"You both have wonderful hearts. Don't let your mind get in the way of your heart." 

In the movie, this was said by Albert Einstein. Of course, I was curious to know if this was ever said by the real Einstein (unfortunately, the answer is no, as far as I can tell), so I looked up Einstein quotes.  Of course, these quotes were amazing, so I read all through them, and then went searching for similiar quotes.

Before I knew it, I was on a full out binge, reading full websites of famous (and somewhat obscure) quotes and adding them to my Facebook quotes or to my book of quotes in my room. (Yes, I have a journal full of quotes - they're amazing).

You see, quotes are amazing things.  There are probably at least 50 quotes that apply to your life at this exact moment, whether you are cooking dinner, breaking up with a jerk, considering a trip to Alaska, or even writing a blog. 


See? This one is perfect for me right now. 

“People have often described me as a blogger. I generally shy away from the term because, to me, bloggers are boring, self obsessed narcissists who use their website mainly as a means to discuss the inconsequential minutiae of their day to day lives.” - Anonymous.

It's perfect because this person's definition of blogger fits me perfectly; it even almost has my name in it. Hey, Boring is closed to Bored, right? I'm not exactly sure why he/she wants to "shy away" from being a blogger, though. Narcissism is fun! 


I also really like this quote: 

"Breathe. Know that the Internet has no eraser." - Liz Strauss. 

This quote reminds me to stay away from things like posting blogs when I'm late-night drunk, but it also comforts me with the idea that no matter what I say, no one is ever going to undo it. Once it's online, it's there, and the world can hate it or love it, but no one can erase it.  


Quotes can remind us of things we already know, teach us new things, and show us that we're not alone in our endeavors.  They can even help us verbalize things we couldn't figure out a way to say on our own. 


For instance, if I were looking at sharks and trying to describe them, but couldn't find the right words, I might find some quotes about sharks. 

"Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent." - Dave Berry.  

See? This quote emphasizes the evident strength and intelligence of sharks, while simultaneously insulting football fans who take their shirts off when it's cold, kind of like some guys at my school who like to paint themselves. Perfect! 


Of course, I could also go for a quote like this: 

"Turns out, I couldn't catch them - or even get close to them. I realized that sharks are amazing, beautiful animals who have absolutely no interest in checking me out. " - Malin Akerman. 

This would totally be me, trying to flirt with sharks and then realizing that was kinda stupid. 


So, anyway, as another person named Anonymous (it's such a common name!) once said:

"There's one thing that a quote does that nothing and no one else can do...it can become a part of you. You may never meet the person who said it, but that person is now a companion. Quotes help you get over pain, feel love, make you smile and laugh, and help you through those tough days when you think that no one else knows what you're going through."  

I have to move back to school in a week, so I may be away from the blogosphere for a while.  In the meanwhile, in order to keep yourself from crying too much at my absence (you know you love me), go on your own quote binge and make yourself a few hundred new best friends that you'll never meet. 


And don't say you don't have time, or make the excuse that you shouldn't "waste time" on quotes in case the world ends today or some similarly lame excuse. After all, as Charles Schultz said, 

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia." 

I'm so Bored that I stayed up until 5:30...and then slept til 12:30

No, I didn't have any reason to stay up so late. Everytime I go to bed at 5 or 6, people mistakenly assume that I must have wanted to get some homework done, or perhaps that I was suddenly inspired and had to write for hours. What no one (excepting those crazy people who stay awake with me, of course) usually guesses is that I stay awake because I am too Bored to sleep. So, instead of sleeping, I chat with other insomniacs on facebook, watch TV on Netflix (currently on season 4 of Numb3rs!), and drink caffeinated, sugary beverages (not to stay awake, just because they're my favorite type of drink). I never intend to stay up til 5. I start off thinking, "I will watch this one last episode, tell my friends good night, and go to sleep at midnight." Slowly, though, over the course of a few hours during which I am unable to shut down the computer, the realization dawns on me that this is one of those nights. I won't say all-nighter, because my sister insists that if you go to sleep afterwards, no matter what the time, then you have not pulled a proper all-nighter. I would argue with her, but my ex-boyfriend always insisted that if you left somewhere at 4 or 5 am (or really any time) and then went to sleep in your own bed, you had not spent the night. Apparently, I am the only person who thinks that the word "night" does not aptly apply to the late morning and early afternoon. Anyway, to get back to my point, the realization dawns on me that this is one of those glorious nights, a night in which I shall stay awake and revel in my awakeness. Yes, staying up late is truly glorious, even exciting, although the activities I described may sound mundane to those people awake in the daytime hours. You see, everything becomes infinitely more interesting, more exciting, and more amusing between 2 and 5 am. Jokes that would make absolutely no sense at 3 in the afternoon send me into rioutous bouts of laughter at 3 in the morning. A quest for the perfect name to call day clothes, since night clothes have their own name, seems like an important, serious manner, and the pronouncement that day clothes should be called majamas (so that all clothes will be Ma & Pa Jamas) suddenly sounds like the type of joke that should earn me a hosting gig at a comedy talk show (when really, letting me do standup would be an extremely BAD idea). Fortunately for everyone reading this, I will never again post a blog during one of my "not an all-nighter"s. The first blog I ever tried to write was started at 4:30 am in my dorm room. Most of my friends, including my roommate, were gone for the weekend, so there was no one around to stop me from writing the most embarrassing blog post in history.  Of course, my friends showed up in time to read it out loud to each other in my room, but that blog post was soon deleted and (fingers crossed) forgotten. I think it may have something to do with the way sleep deprivation affects the frontal lobe, but no matter the reason, even when it produces an embarrassing story for later, whenever I'm Bored, being late-night drunk (my friends and my term for the way we act after midnight) seems a drastically more magnificent option than sleeping.

I'm So Bored that I gave myself a headache playing on the Wii

So, today, I got up obsecenely early (like...9 something!) so that I could go to a doctor's appointment at which the doctor basically told me he had no idea why I'd been referred to him (nobody does, Doc, it's ok). Afterwards, I had way more time on my hands than I usually do (I generally eat time with a fork), and seeing as there was only one show in my Hulu queue, I soon resorted to stealing the Wii blipper (aka, the Wii remote, for all people who do not know me outside of Boredom) from my little brother and playing swordfight showdown for about three hours.  I definitely got past more than 4 levels in that time...Anyway, spending this much time playing a video game did 2 things. First of all, it gave me a massive headache, which is not really surprising. The list of things that gives me headaches is about as long as the list of things that have at one time or another been at least vaguely connected to cancer (for anyone who doesn't know, that list contains everything from bacon to childbirth to not having children to bubble bath). Lights, sounds, tv, heat, cold, computer, little brothers, stress, lack of food, lack of sleep, lack of caffeine, baseballs thrown at my head, and chemistry exams all give me horrible headaches. Of course, now that I have a headache, I have stopped playing on the Wii and taken medicine, but I am, of course, updating my blog before I do anything else, because the second thing playing on the Wii did was remind me of the circular evolution of video games. I'm going to assume that all the readers of my blog are either familiar with Little Bear stories or can look them up. Video games remind me of the Little Bear story in which he is cold and wants something to put on. When he is bundled up in layers of clothes, his mother offers him a fur coat, and when he accepts, she takes off all the clothes and sends him out to play naked, because he obviously already has a fur coat. When I was younger, I truly believed that the moral of this story was that clothes were pointless and we should all play outside naked, but that is completely beside the point of my current rambling. I like video games because they have always been something anyone could play, even cripples like myself. The evolution of video games, however, goes like this:
Two little kids are dancing around. They say "Mom, I'm Bored. I want something more advanced!" Mom invites them inside, gives them a gamecube (for brevity's sake, I omit several generations of gaming. sorry, atari fans and their predecessors), and says "Here, now you can dance just by hitting buttons." After a few minutes (or years), the kids say "Mom, I'm Bored. I want something more advanced!" Dutiful Mom gives them a Wii. "Here," she says, "Now you can dance by waving this blipper around." In a little while, the kids say, "I'm Bored, I want something more advanced." Ever obliging Mom gives them a Kinect, and says  "Here, now you can dance by...DANCING." If the kids say they're Bored one more time, I bet you that Mom's going to take all the game systems away and send them back outside.
I would go on more of a rant about video games, but I promised my bestie we could watch Music & Lyrics, so for now I must leave Boredom. Au revoir!

I'm So Bored that I forgot to update my blog

Yes, the sad truth is that lately I have been so incredibly Bored that I forgot to document what I did in my Boredom. So, here's a recap. Due to a medical procedure, I have spent most of the last couple weeks in my room, watching entire series of TV shows on Netflix, most notably In Plain Sight and Numb3rs.  I watch In Plain Sight because when I am mad at the world, I can always count on Mary Shannon to be mad with me. I watch Numb3rs because secretly (although I guess not so secretly now...), my fantasy in life is to be a certifiable nerd. High test scores and a book collection 5 million times the size of my DVD collection isn't enough. I've always wanted to be able to rattle off 500 digits of pi, tell you the meaning of floccinaucinihilipilification, and remember what year squirrels arrived in Nantucket, then tell you how many calories you've burned banging your head against the wall while I speak. But, no matter how many random facts I look up, I never can quite convince anyone, including myself, that I'm actually a nerd. Instead, I just watch nerdy tv shows like Numb3rs and experience the characters' nerdiness vicariously.
Anyway, that's what I've been doing most of the time, but I've also spent some time thinking. This thinking had led me to change my name to Angry for a while, although I'm sure to switch back to Bored soon. You see, I'm so Angry right now that I'm actually going to explain my religious beliefs on my blog, where I said I would never discuss them. I am Catholic, for anyone who doesn't know me. (You don't know me and you're reading my blog? Yay!) In my life, I generally have not received much direct opposition to my beliefs. Yes, people disagreed with me, but most people never attacked me directly. Recently, however, I have been accused of being illogical in my faith. The allegation is that I am only Catholic because my parents raised me as such, and that I have no reason to actually believe in the Catholic Church. This claim is unfair, and I intend to show why. Yes, I was baptized Catholic at my parents' request, and for many years, as a young child, I gave little or no thought to religion, simply believing whatever my parents told me. I did become Catholic solely because of my parents, but they are not the reason why I remain Catholic. I remain Catholic, and I always will, because relatively simple logic dictates to me that the Catholic Church is the one true Church of Christ, and it's all based on the Eucharist.
You don't have to agree with me, but I see the Bible as very explicitly stating the truth of the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist. 1 Corinthians 11 states: "For I received from the Lord what I also handed on to you, that the Lord Jesus, on the night he was handed over, took bread, and, after he had given thanks, broke it and said, "This is my body that is for you. Do this in remembrance of me." In the same way also the cup, after supper, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me." For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the death of the Lord until he comes. Therefore whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord unworthily will have to answer for the body and blood of the Lord. A person should examine himself, and so eat the bread and drink the cup. For anyone who eats and drinks without discerning the body, eats and drinks judgment on himself." Not only does this verse indicate the Real Presence, but it also indicates that we must be especially reverent towards the Eucharist, only receiving it in the proper way. Therefore, it stands to reason that there must exist some specific proper way to receive the Eucharist, a ritual. If there is no specific ritual, then it may be thought that whenever someone says "This is my Body" anything in front of them, even goldfish crackers, might become Jesus' body, but no one would know for sure so it would be impossible to show the right reverence, and people might in fact reverence items that did not contain the Real Presence. So, there must be some ritual, and only that ritual results in Transubstantiation, for God does not wish his Body to be received unworthily. How can we know this ritual? It is not described precisely in the Bible, so based on the Bible alone, the ritual could be open to interpretation. Therefore, we must have a reliable tradition - the ritual must have been passed on since the apostles. The Catholic Church claims to have passed it on, but how can I trust the Church? I must trust the Church because I know God would not leave us without the Eucharist, when He was so clear about its importance, and for me to trust the Church to be the perpetual messenger, then the Church must be infallible. For if the Church makes mistakes in her doctrine, then I cannot trust that the Eucharist I receive at Mass is truly the Body and Blood of Christ. The Catholic Church must be infallible in her teachings to be able to precisely preserve the Eucharist for over two millenia. So, since I know the Eucharist must have been preserved, I know the Catholic Church must be infallible. Since I know the Catholic Church must be infallible, I must accept all her other teachings, even when they seem strange to me or even unacceptable. God does not fit into our logic. Just because I do not understand something does not mean it is false. When something appears illogical at first glance, I cannot just write it off, because I am not the ultimate expert on logic. That's God. Yes, I have innumerable reasons for my beliefs. I have many justifications for my faith. Even when I doubt everything else though, I cannot suspend my belief in the Catholic Church, the Church which faithfully delivers the Eucharist throughout the ages. I hope this helps anyone who wonders why I'm Catholic or thinks I'm insane for believing what I do. You don't have to believe the same way I do, but you should at least recognize that I believe of my own choice, based on my own reason and not merely that of others.

I'm so Bored that I watched a movie.

So, today I am so incredibly Bored that I actually have yet to get out of bed. Yes, it is noon, and I am sitting in bed writing a blog post.  All of my favorite TV shows have all ended their seasons with incredibly boring finales.  In one, the main character continued to get up every morning, brush his teeth, and go to work.  In the evenings, he continued to eat dinner, read the newspaper, shower, and go to bed.  That was about the most exciting plot line Boredom has seen this year.  Anyway, this morning, I had no TV to watch, and I was Bored, so I watched The Invention of Lying, a movie so horrendous that Xfinity will let you watch it online for free.  Since when does "not lying" equal "always being mean"? Without ever lying, I can not say things which are mean unless provoked.  Yes, I understand answering direct questions.  "How are you today?" "I'm really Bored."  That makes sense, if I cannot lie.  However, there is absolutely no reason why a homeless man's sign cannot read "I'm hungry. Please give me money"  instead of "I don't understand why you're not homeless and I am."  You do not have to grab every person that goes by and tell them your innermost thoughts.  It does not require deceit to keep things to yourself sometimes.  That being said, I don't understand how society in this movie claims to have evolved the same way and to the same point without any deception.  There simply would not be big business.  Also, the movie treats religion as if it is obviously a lie, and this is an utterly unfair assessment.  (Notice though, that the preacher in the chapel wears a cross around his neck...) Regardless of the validity of religion, (which I will not attempt to discuss in this blog, since this blog is primarily for fun and to relieve the tediousness of Boredom) religion molded society to its present condition.  Without Christianity, many scientific and educational advancements never happen.  It is literally impossible that society could evolve to the present age without any deception. The movie is so unbelievable that I am even more Bored now than I was before I watched it.  I defy you to offer me a reasonable back-story for The Invention of Lying.  If I'm going to live in Boredom, I at least want some decent entertainment.

I'm so Bored that I designed greeting cards

Today was pretty much an average day in Boredom, except for the brownies of course.  My birthday was this past week, and so today I had a bunch of friends over for my birthday party!! Ok, by a bunch, I mean two, and by friends, I mean my cats (just joking, my boyfriend and another awesome friend both came to my party).  We ate brownies, which were unusually yummy for Boredom, and a few people that ate them even thought about changing their names to something like Sally or Bill or anything except Bored.  The King of Boredom, however, decreed the brownies illegal, so nobody changed their names and the day continued in a properly boring fashion.  Just a few minutes ago, however, I became so Bored that I made some greeting cards.  That's right! I design things! And now, you're probably thinking that all of my designs are really boring, and they probably are, since I design things merely because I am Bored.  It's not like I have no artistic talent (In reality, I have negative amounts of artistic talent - amazing, I know).  However, if you don't want to buy or even admire any of my designs, maybe you could at least get a laugh or two out of looking at them.  In addition to my greeting cards, you should really check out the design called Funky Tie 2.  Those ties are selling better than kangaroo meat in the UK...I think...

So, go to my Zazzle store (either the link is somewhere on this page, or I've misplaced it in my Boredom).  Buy, insult, comment, laugh.  And if you can find enjoyment in my store, you're probably really Bored. 

I'm so Bored that I caught a disease

So, this morning I woke up kinda sick to my stomach and with a horrible cough.  There is a strong possibility that I have caught bronchitis from the most amazing guy in the world (my boyfriend, of course).  It's also possible that it is merely a cough and a bad day.  Now, you're thinking: "That bug came to you," but that's not true.  You see, I was so Bored that I decided "Hmm, it would be an interesting thing to catch a disease today," and so that's what I did.  It tried to escape, but I caught it, whatever it is, and I intend to keep it.  No, you may not have it - it's mine, I caught it, and if you want a disease, you should go catch your own.  I can't do everything for you: that would be so exceedingly boring.  Since, of course, reading about how I caught a disease is probably pretty boring, here is a poem to entertain you (or bore you even more perhaps, tee hee).  I wrote this a long time ago, so don't expect too much.  It is, to this day, my one and only attempt at free verse.  I bet you can't catch diseases as well as I can; just you TRY!

The Painter's Brush

Colors, dancing, twirling, coming alive

Cascading down, filling the world

With their beauty; vibrant hues

Mixing together, melting into one.

The scent of the painter’s easel

As he moves his brush

Scattering pigments onto the leaves

Filling the air with colored light.

This scent overwhelms me

Takes away my breath,

Makes me want to be

A part of the painting

To jump into the midst of the chaos

To be suffocated by the colors,

By the shades of orange and gold

Dancing around and in me

Moving me to feel,

To long to dance with them,

To have myself transformed,

Painted, remade, by the same brush.